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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25815340">If this room was burning (I wouldn't even notice)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/salvadore/pseuds/salvadore'>salvadore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman: Arkham (Video Games), DCU (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Developing Relationship, Implied - Friends with Benefits, M/M, Post-Game(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:15:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25815340</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/salvadore/pseuds/salvadore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Knightfall, Dick has felt like the floor is on the ceiling and everything he’s holding onto is slipping through his fingers. But tonight Penguin has decided to throw a party in Gotham, and Dick is furious and looking for a good time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dick Grayson/Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>JayDick Summer Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If this room was burning (I wouldn't even notice)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissvinegarandacrowbar/gifts">pissvinegarandacrowbar</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Penguin makes the mistake of throwing a party in Gotham. What’s worse is he picks a night when Dick is furious and full of mourning.</p>
<p>The event flier falls into his hands from an informant. There is a look of worry as it passes hands, and Dick knows that it’s getting dangerous to interact with Nightwing when he has no friends left in the city. Or, at least, no one who is willing to speak up for the remaining Bat in Gotham. He pays for the tip, more than usual, and tries to make it clear that he won’t be upset if this is their last interaction.</p>
<p>He could be right anyway - with everyone wanting to fill in the gaps for Bruce’s disappearance being Nightwing in Gotham is like standing in a burning building. As far as Dick is concerned, he might as well play with the fire while he’s here.</p>
<p>He goes undercover, and it’s been years since he’s dug out his club clothes, but it’s something akin to slipping on a second skin. He’s wearing shorts, and under a jean jacket, a white, mesh crop top that he had bought to show off his nipple piercings. The piercings are gone, but the outfit is one of the remnants from his wild first year as Nightwing when everything had been too bright and it felt like Bruce had taken everything from him. Leaving him to build something from ashes.</p>
<p>Dick feels as reckless now as he did then. The lines between his public persona and Nightwing blurring.</p>
<p>He knows he won’t stand out. At first. He’s forgone a domino tonight, telling himself that the easiest way to the heart of the operation is to be undercover. He’s wearing electric blue eye shadow in place of a mask. Highlighter glitters on his cheeks. Combat boots elongate his legs and hide the zipstrips coiled around his ankles. Under the jacket his escrima sticks are strapped to his arms. It would only take a twist of the wrists to release them, and arm him.</p>
<p>Most of all he’s wearing a bright smile when he arrives, and slides past Penguin’s security. He follows the sound of music downstairs into a basement. The pounding of bass gives way to the brash techno music as he enters the underground club space.</p>
<p>It’s hot with the crush of bodies, and Dick is sweating immediately. At the back of the room there is more security. They’re hardly hiding. There’s no need. If GPD were to break down the door, there's more than enough drugs in and on the attendees to keep them occupied while Penguin disappears. Still, it’s more brazen than Penguin has been in years. Between Bruce and Jason, the man had shifted to more conspicuous games of poker based in Bludhaven, and more legit clubs in the surrounding states to feed his attempts at ascension to Gotham’s unoccupied throne. But the power vacuum without Batman, the Joker, and the Arkham Knight has left room for Oswald Cobblepot to move, and he’s clearly ready to begin.</p>
<p>Dick makes his way through the crowd. If anyone were watching from above, they’d see him parting the crowd with ease. Dick feels like he’s burning up from each touch of skin on skin, and anticipation makes each breath catch in his lungs. Hands reach for him, fingers dragging on his skin, on his jacket, but he doesn’t slow down to be seduced to dance. He’s on mission. He’s careful not to release his escrima too soon, digging his nails into his palms to hold himself back from attacking too soon.</p>
<p>He hits the security with a smile first, fingers reaching out for the collar of the first man, licking his lower lip as he entices him toward Dick’s mouth. He can see the man hesitate to press his fingers to his ear piece, hesitating on calling for backup until he feels Dick rolls his hips and presses against him - chest to knees.</p>
<p>“Want to dance?” Dick asks, but he doesn’t wait for a reply. He brings his knee up and catches the man in the groin. He’s doubling over and Dick lets him, keeping the weight of him over his knee for a moment, and gauges the response of his partner. There’s the reach of a hand and Dick doesn’t know if it’s for a gun or a taser, but he’s shoving the first guard at the second with full strength. As they topple toward each other, he swings his foot up. With speed he drops his heel with force enough to break the second man’s arm.</p>
<p>If the man screams, no one hears him. There is no one looking as Dick turns on his heel. No one sees him smirk as he pushes through the doors.</p>
<p>Penguin is getting sloppy, Dick notices first. There’s hardly the guard force that Dick would have expected. There’s no one lining the halls as he strides forward, but he's itching to have his escrima in hand, so he releases their catch, and they slide seamlessly into his hands. If anyone has their eyes on surveillance footage, they could miss the move entirely.</p>
<p>Dick walks calmly for the door at the end of the hall.</p>
<p>The scene in the office is unexpected; it’s a classic tableau of a business transaction. Penguin is facing the door, sitting in a wing-back chair with a bird pattern on it so absurd Dick doesn’t know how he got it into the warehouse district without GPD coming to investigate something so suspicious. The whole room is classic Cobblepot: gothic and bird obsessed. It doesn’t match the rave outside.</p>
<p>This, Dick realizes, isn’t Penguin’s game.</p>
<p>From behind his monocle, Penguin’s gaze shifts and focuses on Dick in the doorway. “What the fuck are you doing in here?” he screeches.</p>
<p>But after Dick has clocked him as present, as expected, he’s focused on the man with his back to the door.</p>
<p>He’s broad shouldered, but that’s the most inconspicuous part of him. He’s dressed down - a simple jacket and a sweatshirt hood pulled over his head. Everyone else in the room is wearing suits, slicked back hair and shiny watches as if Penguin has been trying to buy his reputation as Gotham’s most powerful man.</p>
<p>The hood slips down off the man’s head as he turns to look at Dick. But Dick would know him just from the glimpse of his cheek. The pink-scar tissue in the shape of a “J.”</p>
<p>Dick isn’t the only one working this evening.</p>
<p>Jason stands up and he’s the only one that Dick has eyes for. Penguin is screaming orders, and the end of that fucking umbrella is lifting into the air, but it’s Jason in civilian gear, jeans, it’s really just a red sweatshirt under that jacket, Dick notes as Jason turns fully toward him. Jason lifts his hands toward Dick, and the only real gear Dick can see are his weighted knuckle gloves.</p>
<p>Jason is so close now that he’s cut off Dick’s line of sight on Penguin. Dick knows better than to get caught up in the storm of Jason’s eyes, but he hasn’t seen Jason in weeks. He had started to worry that he’d scared Jason off.</p>
<p>The last time - they’d holed up in a safe house together, making out after a round of rooftop hide and seek with GPD had turned violent. Dick hadn’t known if Jason was still on the run from him, and the back-up Jason had provided was altruistic. Or if the absence of exchanged punches between them was something Dick should read into? He wondered if Jason felt the same magnetic draw that Dick felt. The yearning aching thing to fill the empty pieces now that Gotham was just them.</p>
<p>Dick could taste blood when they kissed. His thumb had brushed across the shape of that J-scar, and he didn’t know how long he had caressed it before he realized Jason had stiffened against him.</p>
<p>Dick remembers tamping down on his fear that Jason was going to leave, the touch or scrutiny of Dick’s gaze on the scar too much. The last thing he remembers asking Jason was to fuck him. He’d maneuvered them to a hard surface and encouraged Jason to press him down, to have the counter bite into his hips as Jason fucked him hard. Dick begging him to go harder, making it only about the sex because that’s all they are. Two broken birds making do because they’re all the other has. Dick’s told himself that a hundred times - he almost believes it.</p>
<p>Now, Jason is grabbing him by the hips, thumbs fitting over that same place. It makes Dick shudder. Jason shoves him back out the door that Dick just broke down, and for a second Dick can only stare into his eyes and remember that last time. He loses himself in the storm of Jason’s eyes, and he can read more there than he could a month ago. There’s benched fury, and something Dick could convince himself is concern.</p>
<p>Dick curls his fingers around Jason’s elbows, holding him at arm’s length.</p>
<p>Then there’s the crack of a gunshot, and time snaps back to normal speed. Dick ducks under Jason’s arm and sees three guards rushing out of the room behind them. Jason’s fingers brush through Dick’s hair, but he’s faster and Jason doesn’t stand a chance of grabbing him as Dick dives forward to roll between the guards.</p>
<p>He comes to a crouch behind them and before they can do more than stop abruptly, he’s swinging his escrima at their knees. The pounding of the music is still all Dick can hear as they hit the floor.</p>
<p>This security team is smarter than the first group Dick encountered. One of them reaches for their gun immediately - but Dick is again faster. He rolls away and leaps toward the wall before unsteady, unused to hands can aim the glock for him. He throws one escrima, and it knocks the gun away, clattering and sliding across the floor before the escrima bounces off the floor and up off the wall. Dick dives for it, catching it from the air, and just to show off does a flip before he lands.</p>
<p>With a flick of Dick’s wrists the ends of the escrima light up with electricity. They crackle intimidatingly as Dick looks around the hall. Two of the guards are helping the third to their feet, but they stop at the sound of the tasers. Slowly they turn to look Dick’s way. And it’s clear right away that this is their first rodeo.</p>
<p>The suits they’re wearing are cheap, now that Dick looks at them. The coiffed hair and cuff-links were parts of a costume, and whatever calm they had been able to put up in that office has disappeared.</p>
<p>And so has Penguin.</p>
<p>The office is empty.</p>
<p>Rage wells up in Dick’s chest, rattling out of his throat in an animal sound.</p>
<p>“Get out of here,” Jason says from where Dick left him standing. It’s a cold calm, and it puts Dick’s anger out in an instant.</p>
<p>Dick turns to look at Jason, body wanting to follow the commanding tone on instinct. There’s such a fierce look in Jason’s eyes that Dick believes the order was meant for him.</p>
<p>But Jason isn’t looking at him. He’s looking beyond.</p>
<p>The three guards scramble to get out of the hallway. They forget the gun, they’re moving so fast around the corner toward another exit. Dick clocks the weapon on the floor and then squares his shoulders.</p>
<p>His chest is heaving. Sweat is running from his brow through his make up. He can only imagine what he looks like to Jason. But he’s just standing there, staring Dick down in return.</p>
<p>Carefully, Dick lowers the escrima. He hadn’t realized he was holding them up in defense between them. But he’s putting the clues together - Jason called this meeting. He invited Penguin back into Gotham and he didn’t bother to tell Dick.</p>
<p>“What were you thinking?” Dick asks. His voice is rough to his own ears. He doesn’t want to feel this way; he’s torn between the ache of having Jason close and knowing that he’s safe - a feeling that has haunted him since he learned Jason was alive - and the fury that he’s feeling.</p>
<p>Gotham is <em>his</em>. Bruce is dead. The manor decimated. Tim and Barbara are in the wind, and no one has heard from Selina.</p>
<p>The urge to remind Jason of all of this, and to remind him of who is to blame, is locked behind Dick’s teeth. His chest heaves with it. If he doesn’t calm down he might start swinging again, and then he’ll fulfill his own worst fears - scaring Jason off now that he finally has him.</p>
<p>“What was <em>I</em> thinking?” Jason asks. Now that they’re alone, the bark of his voice has disappeared. With just Dick, Jason’s voice is almost a whisper.</p>
<p>In a mask, Jason sounds so much like Bruce. It’s a good imitation and strong enough to be intimidating in it’s own right. But when it’s just Jason that commanding tone disappears.There’s just the rattle, and gravel of a kid who didn’t get to talk to anyone for years.</p>
<p>Jason steps toward Dick. They're just about the same height now. Dick hasn’t stopped being surprised.</p>
<p>There’s the brush of Jason’s knuckles across Dick’s skin. He’s touching Dick so gently. Dick doesn’t mean to, but he flinches. Jason comes away with a smear of blue across his fingers.</p>
<p>“You scared the shit out of me,” Jason admits. It’s said softly.</p>
<p>His hands reach for Dick’s wrists. It’s hard to hold someone gently while wearing weighted gloves, but Jason does. Dick keeps the escrima from touching Jason, but he’s not quite ready to have them out from between them.</p>
<p>He spent so long trying to get Jason back.</p>
<p>It made him leave Bludhaven despite Tim’s warnings.</p>
<p>He hadn’t slept. The photo Tim snagged from CC-TV was so clearly Jason even outside of the Arkham Knight suit. It had haunted Dick even in waking. It had sparked a hope in Dick. Jason hadn't left. He hadn't been disappeared, again. </p>
<p>With so much out of his control, and so much grief - Jason was alive.</p>
<p>These days Dick keeps hope nurtured on the slightest of touches, and times like these when Jason skin is on his, slipping beneath the cuff of the denim jacket. It sends shivers down Dick’s spine, and he doesn’t want to wish for more. But he always does.</p>
<p>Jason’s fingers travel. He’s tugging at the end of Dick’s crop top, the metal of his gloves brushing Dick’s bare midriff.</p>
<p>“I can see through that mesh. You’re not even wearing a whole shirt.”</p>
<p>“Oh, like you’re wearing Kevlar,” Dick snaps.</p>
<p>Jason holds his wrists again, persuading him to drop the escrima. He moves closer until there’s no space between them. Then he brings Dick’s hands to his chest, holding them there. And Dick can feel the shape of a bullet proof vest there. He draws his hands down the vest, and thinks about the heat of Jason’s body being protected by it.</p>
<p>"Dick, stop for a second. You showed up to fight Penguin in half a shirt and shorts, and no back-up.”</p>
<p>If Jason leaned closer, his forehead would tip against Dick’s. “Talk to me?"</p>
<p>Rarely, Bruce would apologize for his choices in life. When he did it was memorable.</p>
<p>He’d once said that being the Batman meant being alone - Dick had taken offense at the time. It had felt like Bruce was working himself up, or winding Dick up for another fight.</p>
<p>But it hadn’t been about that. Not that time.</p>
<p>It had been about how lonely it could be.</p>
<p>Dick tips his head closer to Jason. He brushes his nose against Jason’s, and gives himself shivers over how close they are. If he breathes, his lips will touch Jason’s.</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about what the fuck you were thinking bringing Penguin into Gotham without telling me?" Dick asks.</p>
<p>Jason pulls away fast, and his eyes are wide as he looks at Dick. He looks startled by Dick’s anger.</p>
<p>Dick stares defiantly back.</p>
<p>There’s a loud sound, and a clamoring from around the corner where Jason’s rent-a-henchmen had run off. Dick can’t see it physically pull Jason’s attention from him. He turns in slow motion, arms coming up, to put his body between Dick’s and what could be coming.</p>
<p>Dick watches as Jason’s arm comes up, and ducks beneath it, moving out of the shelter of Jason’s body and the wall. He knows the sounds are coming from the back entry way - he had mapped the escape routes. Penguin didn’t just hit a dead-end when he disappeared.</p>
<p>He’s sliding on his knees across the floor to get his weapons in hand. The anticipation of a fight moving through him.</p>
<p>But Jason is reaching forward and trying to catch him. He grabs for Dick’s wrist, missing the first time.</p>
<p>“Come on,” Jason says as he finally catches Dick’s hand in his own. Once he has it, he holds fast. As if he’s determined not to let Dick go again. He drags Dick up, still trying to put his body between Dick’s and the question of who is coming as he propels them back toward the party.</p>
<p>It’s another world. The commotion in the back rooms has gone unnoticed under the loud pulse of the music. Strobe lights give the movements of the crowd a slow, wave like quality. It’s harder to see where one person begins and another ends, and there are couples kissings. It looks like smoke is rising from sections of the crowd, puffs of multi-color vapor rising off the crowd.</p>
<p>Warm hands pull them into the crowd, and Dick hastily gets his weapons out of sight as the tide of dancing and Jason’s insistence pulls him. Dick doesn’t want to be pulled under. He doesn’t want to disappear into the crowd. He wants to go back in there and take Penguin down once and for all.</p>
<p>The tender touch is Jason’s. It guides him by the small of his back. It traces the hem of his jacket before sliding under it to be a warm weight against Dick’s hip, against his bare skin. The hair on Dick’s arms and neck are standing on end.</p>
<p>Dick tilts his head back, holding himself stiff, and a breath apart from Jason’s, and plants his feet to stop from being pushed further.</p>
<p>He’s ready to tell Jason off, but he meets those eyes again.</p>
<p>Dick opens his mouth, ready to say something furious, but he’s caught again.</p>
<p>“Kiss me,” Jason says, nudging close to be heard.</p>
<p>Dick does.</p>
<p>He wants two things, more than anything, but he can’t have them both: Dick wants to fight with Jason now if only to feel his hands on his skin and to see if this thing between them is as fragile as he’s been treating it. And he wants to let Jason take him home. He wants to let Jason into his apartment, and he yearns to wake up to Jason in the morning and know he’s not alone.</p>
<p>But Jason doesn’t stay. He disappears in the early hours, always, leaving Dick worried and longing until he sees him again. Dick has shown himself time and again that he will take whatever moments he can. He doesn’t want to break them.</p>
<p>But he’s so angry right now, and it’s been harder and harder to bottle up.</p>
<p>It’s not a compromise of those wants when Dick slides his fingers into Jason’s hair and pulls hard. It’s the teetering edge of not making a choice when he decides to kiss Jason because staring into his eyes is too vulnerable. The small change at Jason’s lips, how they’d been curving down. The wrinkle that had been growing between his brows as Jason saw something in Dick that he didn’t understand. Dick kisses Jason to chase those away.</p>
<p>And to feel the heat of him. Jason’s hands are heavy and warm on Dick’s ribs. They grip him and lift him. He’s cradled against Jason. The crop top is riding up, and Dick can feel the vest against his skin.</p>
<p>Jason’s hot between Dick’s spread thighs as he wraps them around Jason’s waist.</p>
<p>Held aloft, Dick almost feels like they could be possible. He wouldn’t be at war with himself. This could be date night. They could be two regular people - Dick could still have piercings and not worry about them being ripped out during a fight.</p>
<p>For a second Dick wonders about Sundays in bed. He hasn’t woken up slowly, lazily in years. But if Gotham wasn’t anyone’s responsibility?</p>
<p>He can only remember the last time he felt reckless and bright. That first year in Bludhaven. He'd been so lonely in a new city. And outside of Bruce's shadow the fierce need to feel anything and everything Bruce would disapprove of had overcome him. He hadn't had to be Richard Wayne in Bludhaven. </p>
<p>The lights on stage fill the room with a deep purple and blue. Dick catches a glimpse of Jason's eyes in the dark. He runs his thumb over Jason's mouth. And kisses him again.</p>
<p>Could Dick have traded nights with strangers for weekends with Jason? Would Jason have made fun of twenty-something Dick. Would he have run his fingers over Dick’s bruises, and ask about them? Would he have teased Dick for his spontaneous choices? Would Jason have gone with to the tattoo parlor? Would he have pressed a nail against the healed piercing just to see Dick shiver and roll his hips in pleasure.</p>
<p>It's the stuff of daydreams. Dick doesn't linger in them often - there's not often time. Hooking up with Jason has mostly been in safe houses and rooftops. The only time they’re ever this close is when there’s danger, and anger. Jason only stays after their lives have been on the line.</p>
<p>Dick doesn’t know how to ask for more. So he kisses Jason and puts all those feelings into the kiss.</p>
<p>Jason exhales heavily when they break. There’s a piano melody playing on loop and the song is either ending, or waiting for the drop.</p>
<p>Jason’s hand comes up to cup Dick’s cheek, but he’s pulling too hard. His thumb pulls at Dick’s skin, pulling at the corner of his mouth and leaving Dick mouthing at Jason’s palm, his wrist, and any skin he can reach.</p>
<p>He’s desperate to keep kissing, but Jason is saying something, panting hot breath and words Dick’s can’t hear against Dick’s temple.</p>
<p>“Dick …” Jason moans. He’s pressed as close to Dick as they can be without becoming one person. And Dick is holding on tight.</p>
<p>“Did my heart … ?” Jason asks. But Dick can’t make out all the words.</p>
<p>Dick can feel the sweat on Jason’s scalp, and the press of teeth against his throat. He’s wrapped Jason up so tightly in his arms that it feels impossible to part.</p>
<p>He imagines Jason presses the word ‘love’ against the soft skin of his neck, as he kisses his way down Dick’s shoulder. He’s pressed his nose there to the collar of the jacket. It reminds Dick of a poem. He can’t remember the words.</p>
<p>He feels angry all of a sudden. His hands are shaking.</p>
<p>Love.</p>
<p>Dick thinks of another Shakespeare work. Like Ophelia, the blood is still fresh in Dick’s mouth, it turns out. The metallic taste of loss is too great to get lost in Jason’s tenderness.</p>
<p>He pushes Jason away from him. Waves off the comfort of having Jason close. Pushes Jason back. When did he get this way, Dick wonders. He’s carved up parts of himself, and all for Jason.</p>
<p>Jason has gotten too good at twisting Dick up and getting his way.</p>
<p>If Bruce were here, he'd say that Jason has made Dick weak.</p>
<p>But Bruce isn't here. That's the gaping loss around which Dick's life revolves now. That's the wound that Dick can't touch or all the conflicts in his life after the Arkham Knight stand in stark contrast. Dick evades Jason. And he moves through the crowd despite the fingers reaching for him. He’s grateful for the bass drop, people take to jumping around them and shouting along for Dick to hear his name being called.</p>
<p>God, but he hopes Jason is calling for him. </p>
<p>Dick fiercely wipes away tears and blue eye shadow, smearing glitter all over his hands and face. He takes a breath. And he doesn't stop moving.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
<p></p><div>
  <p>“I don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth”<br/>— Ophelia</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight, for I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.”<br/>— Romeo</p>
</div><p>To PVC -  Thank you so much for your prompts.  I know this is tagged angst and has a somewhat ambiguous ending - but I hope you like it nonetheless. Returning to AK is something I love to do. I never know how soft Jason will choose to be. </p>
<p>To Empires - Thank you, tremendously, for all of the hand holding and help through this fic. You know how much it means to me, but truly. It wouldn't be done without you, and I yearn to make you proud with my writing as cheesy as that may or may not be, it's true. Thank you. </p>
<p>To the JayDick exchange - thank you so much. I'm so proud of all of us!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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